Lost and Finding Joy

Have you ever felt like giving up? Have you ever felt like you are fed up with this life and that if you were gone, it wouldn’t matter anyways — that people would probably be better off without you here? Well, that’s a lie. We don’t usually like to admit it, but a lot of us have been there. That’s how I know it’s a lie. People would not be better off without you. There is only one you in this world. Only one. You are needed. To feel whole again we must break free from the binds that hold us back.

Life can be gripping at times, especially when we feel like we have no control over the circumstances in our lives. We can feel like the ground beneath us is cracking and that at any moment, we are going to fall through those cracks. Why? What is that? As we go through our lives, we have ideals (standards, expectations) that we would like to see happen in our lives. It could be relationships, it could be financial freedom, it could be our health/bodies, it could be anything. When our lives don’t match up to those ideals, we feel out of control. We feel helpless. We may even find ourselves in a dark place where it just doesn’t feel like there will ever be light again.

You may say to yourself, “Why is this happening to me?” “Why can’t I just have it this way?” Or you may feel guilt, fear, or sadness about something that’s happened in the past. You may feel unworthy for good things to come into your life. When those feelings surface, we want to acknowledge them. It’s all a part of our human experience. Since those feelings are toxic and literally damaging to our brains, we want to move past them as soon as possible. But how? Maybe you’ve been there for years, or maybe it’s come up recently. Regardless of how long it’s been, the solution is the same. Are you ready for a simple solution to what seems like an enormous monster? I’m not saying it’s easy, but it is simple. Ultimately, to break free, the main thing that has to change is our perception. It’s really that simple. It’s the story we are telling ourselves about the situation. That story is what stops us from living in harmony with who we were created to be.

To tell a more empowering story, we must look at our life from a more eternal perspective, and recognize that whatever is happening or has happened is just a part of our life’s journey. It’s just a chapter, It’s not the whole book. We also want to recognize that this life is unpredictable, sometimes hard, sometimes beautiful, but always changing. It’s the good parts and the bad parts that build the masterpiece. Each of us has our own individual paths in this journey called life. Throughout this journey, there will always be opportunity for stretching ourselves and for growth. Sometimes we have to let go of our ideals, and trust in something greater. Sometimes we have to literally detach emotionally from what we thought should or shouldn’t have happened in our lives. We weren’t meant to have full control in this life. This gives us the opportunity to discover and to connect with something greater; beyond ourselves and beyond this life.

Once we discover that, we learn to trust that we are exactly where we are meant to be at this moment in our lives. We are all works in progress–and progress is exactly what the purpose of this life is. You are exactly where you are meant to be. You are perfectly imperfect. You are uniquely you. To recognize that, sometimes you must let go. Let go of your personal ideals. I’m not saying to stop dreaming, setting goals, etc. I would never say that. It is extremely important to dream, set goals, and accomplish; but as we set our goals, we “hold it with a loose hand,” allowing something greater to guide us along. We should change the things we can, but accept the things we cannot change. We shouldn’t be so attached to our ideals, that we block even greater things to come our way.

When Joshua parted the Jordan River, the priests had to step into the water first. This serves us as an example that we must step out in faith. Whether you would love to have a relationship heal, have a new relationship, have your body heal, have a better job, etc., no matter what…take a step in that direction, knowing that God is working it out for you and with you. Feel at peace, knowing that whether or not you reach that ideal situation, you are presently living the life you were created to live. Something magnificent is happening with you. You are an important piece in this wonderful life. You are needed. Realize that something greater is going before you, guiding your steps in an all-knowing, perfect masterpiece. Surrender. Detach from the destination, while you are heading in that direction, so that you can enjoy the journey; recognizing that every day in this life is a gift.

Remember: when life isn’t what you thought it should be, change your perception. Look to the eternal perspective. Nothing outside of you needs to change for you to feel whole again. Nothing from your past needs to change. The past is over. The future is not yet here. This moment is what counts. That’s why we call it the present — it’s a gift. Today is a new, beautiful, wonderful gift. Decide that today is a good day. Smile. Give your smile to others. Spread love. Spread kindness. Love yourself. Love your neighbor. Break free from the chains that are binding you. Let go and let God.

It simply requires the faith of a mustard seed, a tiny bit of hope, and the desire to have a better life. Tell yourself a more empowering story. You are perfectly imperfect. You are uniquely you. Only you can fill your shoes. You matter. There are people around you, counting on you to strengthen yourself, so that you will be able to help strengthen them.

If I had given up about 10 years ago when I felt exactly the way I described in the first part of this post, then I wouldn’t have been able to do the things I’m doing now. Scary to think about. I am so grateful I kept the faith of a mustard seed. I am so grateful I maintained a little hope. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to experience some really incredible things. I wouldn’t be the wife, mother, and grandmother I am today. I wouldn’t have met my little granddaughter or the grandson that I am anxiously awaiting to meet in August.

Never give up. Pay attention to the way you are thinking about things. When we feel out of control, helpless, or hopeless, we give our power over to temporary circumstances. Take your power back. And always remember… with God…ALL things are possible.

You may need to talk to someone you trust. If you don’t feel like you have anyone to talk to — talk to God. I can promise that if you just keep breathing, pray a little and seek a little; there will be light again. You’ll find your way out, you’ll become stronger; and you’ll turn around to help someone else. That’s really what this journey is all about. It’s about progressing, overcoming, becoming stronger, and helping others along the way.

So…dream of a better tomorrow. Set goals. Hold it with a loose hand; don’t become too attached to outcomes; and let something greater be your guide. You will begin to feel whole again. You will be a bright light in this world, and you will find hope, faith, and peace. You will wake up each new day, full of gratitude…and you will love your life.