Lost and Finding Joy

When things feel off, or we feel off, we’re taught to become more aware of our thoughts, or to stand guard at the portal of our minds. We are taught that sometimes all we need is to be more positive and have a little more gratitude. This is true and things can turn around rather quickly when we take this advice. However, there are times we shouldn’t try to correct our thinking. In fact, trying to fix it could make it worse. That’s why anxiety is so tricky.

What causes anxiety? Anxiety can be caused by a traumatic event, or can appear after we’ve completed a big project of some kind. Many people experience anxiety around Christmas time, but, why?

After a big project or after a “busy activity” our brains are over stimulated which causes an excess of chemicals to be dumped – like dopamine, adrenaline, etc. I’m not a doctor, but I’ve certainly dealt with anxiety a few times in my life. My dad has studied it and even written a book about it called, Anxiety Panic Attacks, Cause and Cure (https://a.co/d/657bLck).

I understand enough to know that the chemicals being released in our brains don’t shut off right away when our “busy activity” is completed. This can cause us to feel anxious because we feel like something is wrong. We look around to see what is causing these anxious feelings. We can become paranoid that something bad is about to happen. We may feel like somebody or some thing is out to get us. We may even feel like we are dying or going to die — like our life is being threatened in some way. There may be no logical explanation for these feelings, which causes us to think we are losing our minds or going crazy.

The problem with anxiety is that when it comes up, we fight against the feelings. We try to cancel them out or to justify them. When we do that, more chemicals are dumped, making things worse. The BEST way to get rid of anxiety is to recognize what is happening, and stop fighting against it.

I recently had a full blown anxiety attack, thinking someone was out to get me or someone I love. Logically, I knew it didn’t make sense; but my mind was doing it’s best to make sense of it. I rationalized that it was possible I was being warned of something that was going to happen — like a premonition. After all, I’d had bad feelings before which were confirmed later when one of my son’s was in a car accident, and my other son had an aerosol can explode all around him.

I thought that’s what was happening this time. I was certain me or one of my children were in danger. I thought I’d better be vigilant, pay attention to my feelings, and watch my surroundings. This just caused more fear and more anxiousness.

Fortunately, I reached out to my mom and dad and asked them to pray for me, because someone was either in danger, or I needed to get my thinking right. I needed relief from this train of thought. I’m a certified life coach, so I also know what can happen if we let negative thoughts go unchecked for awhile. I told them that I was trying to focus on more positive thinking, and trying to pay attention to what I was focused on.

Through our conversation, my parents recognized and pointed out that I was in full blown anxiety. As soon as they said it, I knew they were right. The fear instantly subsided. It was like turning on a light switch and the darkness fled.

I realized I was fighting against my irrational thoughts, which meant I was fighting against the anxiety. That caused more chemicals to dump and intensified the anxiety.

Once I recognized it was anxiety, I knew I had to give into those fear thoughts, so I said to myself, “Come and get me!” I wasn’t going to try to be vigilant or protect myself from this unseen threat any longer. Then I smiled. I knew it was over.

I simply stopped fighting against the thought that me or one of my loved ones was in danger. I stopped thinking I needed to change my thinking. I stopped thinking I needed to be aware of my surroundings. I gave into it, and it simply went away.

The irony is that I already understood anxiety and even knew to look out for it, because I had just finished a huge project that was physically and mentally demanding for several months.

The feelings were real because the chemicals are real. Before I knew it, I believed I had a real problem. I believed my family or I was in danger. The truth was we were not in danger. I didn’t need to “fix” my thinking either.

I was simply recovering from months of chemicals dumping in my brain, and my system was resetting when I slowed down and stopped working so hard.

Anxiety is a tricky thing. It can disguise itself as being something to fear, even something life threatening. If those feelings show up, take notice. Did you just finish a project? Did you go through some type of trauma? If so, recognize it could just be chemicals in your brain that need to reset.

It’s important to add that you may have been going through anxiety for quite sometime, because you didn’t understand what it was or how to cure it. You may have been fighting against it for awhile, which as I just mentioned, dumps more chemicals, and makes things worse.

Our thoughts cause our feelings — if you have a happy thought, you feel happy — if you have a sad thought, you feel sad — if you have a fear thought, you feel afraid. When things are intense for a long period of time or extremely intense for even a short amount of time; the chemicals that cause those feelings can get out of balance. That’s all it is. Allow yourself to return to a more balanced way of thinking and feeling by recognizing what’s happening and not fighting against it. Your chemicals will normalize and you’ll be back to yourself and feeling safe again.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 🙂