Lost and Finding Joy

I had a lot of feelings growing up. I listened to the same love songs over and over again. I used to drive my sister crazy, I think. When I was 9 or 10 years old, the song I loved most was “Reunited” by Peaches and Herb. I don’t know why. I had all these feelings and didn’t know what to do with them. By 8th grade my emotions turned defensive. I was known to have a few scuffles with others who had chips on their shoulders or were bullies. By high-school I turned those emotions inward and would get into arguments with mostly boyfriends over nothing. I would get angry or sad. I would fight or I would cry. I can admit that I was an emotional wreck.

By adulthood I remember hoping there was a way to improve or increase my “Emotional IQ”. I read multiple self-improvement books that helped. I attended seminars and programs that helped me see that we are not victims of our feelings and our emotions. I learned our feelings are affected by our thoughts. When we change the way we look at things, or the way we think about things, our feelings change. We decide what we choose to think about, listen to, or where we put our focus. We also choose how we look at things. Is the glass half empty or half full? “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see” (Henry David Thoreau). Our feelings and emotions can become a tool for greater things when we are in the driver’s seat.

Unchecked, our emotions can cause chaos and make us weak and our results unpredictable. When we stand guard at the portal of our minds (Ralph Waldo Emerson), we harness our emotions. That’s the start.

When we feel weak, lost, or broken; we ask the question, “Why?” A more empowering question is “What?” What can I do today to help use all these feelings for something better? What can I do to start thinking better thoughts? What can I do to control my emotions, rather than allowing them to control me?

You have more power inside you than you know. You absolutely have the power to increase your Emotional IQ. You have the power to change your emotions from weakness into one of your greatest strengths.

Feelings and emotions are critical for peace and joy in this life. Love is the greatest emotion of all. When those feelings and emotions are based on fear, the results are not good. When those feelings and emotions are based on love, confidence and strength, the results are powerful and extremely good.

To change, it begins with one simple question. What can I do, where I’m at, with what I have? The answer is as simple as the question. We now know that it begins with our thoughts. Our thoughts are based on where our focus is. Rather than focusing on what we think is wrong in our lives, we can choose to focus on what’s right. Gratitude is a powerful emotion. We can start by looking around and saying thank you for every single thing we see at this very moment.

It is possible to increase our Emotional IQ. All you need is the desire to do it. I am no longer an emotional wreck. I’m still not perfect, but, I am grateful for the heart and the feelings God gave me. Through my own personal journey, I’ve learned not to allow my emotions to control me. I’ve learned how to use them for good, with firm boundaries set in place. I’m still learning and growing, but I consider those same emotions and feelings one of my greatest blessings.

~Many blessings to you and yours!