Lost and Finding Joy

You’ve probably heard it said, “Holding on to anger is like grabbing a hot coal to throw it at someone else, but you’re the one who gets burned.” (Paraphrasing a quote attributed to Buddha.) Life is hard enough without holding on to grudges. We free ourselves when we let go and let God. When we let God handle the things we can’t change, we can move on with our own lives. Holding on to anger, resentment, and unforgiveness, keeps us from personal growth, and our true purpose in life.

It’s true. We create a block within ourselves when we hold on to anger or resentment towards someone else. That blockage holds us back from our full potential.

We may believe we have forgiven someone, but may still be holding on to some resentment. One way to know is to notice what we are feeling when we think of that person. Do we still feel contracted or any negative feelings when they cross our minds? If so, there is more forgiveness work to do. It’s a process.

There is no doubt that some situations caused by others are appalling. Some would consider these situations worthy to stay angry or even disgusted. Someone asked the Dalai Lama how he could forgive the Chinese government. How did he have so much peace about it? How could he forgive them for everything they had done to him and his followers? He described the government as his “Sacred Friends.” Of course this wasn’t in the literal sense of them being friends. He meant some people come into our lives to teach us hard lessons. They come into our lives to help us grow. Some come into our lives to teach us lessons we need to learn to fulfill our purpose in life.

It may feel like you are letting someone “off the hook,” for their bad behavior if you forgive them. That’s not true at all. When you release them, you release yourself from the negative bond you have with them. You’re actually letting yourself off the hook.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean what the other person did is okay. It doesn’t mean to allow them to continue hurting or hindering you. Forgiveness is looking at it from a more eternal perspective. Forgiving them doesn’t mean you have to keep them in your life either. You may choose to love them (or wish them well) from a distance.

We all have insecurities and imperfections. We all have been betrayed in one form or another. Unfortunately, sometimes we are the betrayers (even if we believe it’s for the right reasons). Life has it’s way of forcing us to make hard decisions. You may have also heard it said: “We cannot please all of the people all of the time. We can only please some of the people some of the time.” Did you catch the words, “some of the time”? We can’t even please some of the people all of the time.

It’s important to forgive others and yourself. We can all do some really unskillful things. Some hurt others on purpose, while others do so by mistake. Regardless of the situation, there is always a lesson to learn. Forgiveness removes negative energy. It makes room for better things to enter into our lives. Among other things, we learn resilience, strength, and growth from our experiences. Through forgiveness we can step into freedom and live a life filled with purpose.

Below is a mantra, that you can repeat to yourself when you feel negatively towards someone. Mantras like this one can help you through the forgiveness process. If you do the work, eventually your awareness will expand.

Loving Kindness Mantra:

May I Be Safe

May I Be Happy

May I Be Healthy

May My Mind Be At Ease

May I Take the Lessons and Live In Peace.

Then. . .

Read or say the following while thinking of someone you love first- then read or say to yourself again, thinking of the person you are doing the forgiveness work for:

May You Be Safe

May You Be Happy

May You Be Healthy

May Your Mind Be At Ease

May You Take the Lessons and Live In Peace.

~Many blessings to you and yours!